hembrista:

peewentz:

do you ever just want to go outside in the middle of the night and walk around and not actually do anything just observe and think and stuff

I’m a woman

papasmoke:

My favorite pastime is going into the replies of Bernie Sanders tweets and finding the most batshit insane opinions a human could possibly have

powerbottomlup:

shitgunner:

god today i ID’d an old dude buyin booze and he pulled out a fake ID with an elvis pic, then laughed and pulled out a matching one but with curly from three stooges on it, and im like okay please and he finally pulled out his real license and his legal name was steve sinner

that was the devil

onlorakeetwings:

pinkgoodra:

this is honestly how some of y’all sound

officer, that’s my emotional support two-liter of vodka lemonade

teaboot:

teaboot:

Do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

“I used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

scythemaster1:

scythemaster1:

friend who’s new in town: hey what’s that! *points at coin factory*

me:

them: *points at another, non-coin factory* that one too?

me: